that time of the month.

March 16, 2009 at 11:37 pm (Uncategorized)

I see lovers in the streets walking,
Without a care.
They’re wearing out loud
Like there’s something in the air
and I don’t care

They’re treading lightly
No they, don’t sink in
There’s no tracks to follow
They don’t care where they going

And if they’re lucky and they’ll,
They’ll get to see and if they’re
Really really lucky they’ll
Get to feel..

And it kicks so hard,
It breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
It hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
Makes your blood flow.
It’s better that you know,
That love is hard.

Love takes hostages,
Gives them pain.
Gives someone the power to
Hurt you again and again
but they don’t care

And it kicks so hard,
It breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
It hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
Makes your blood flow.
It’s better that you know,
That love is hard.


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running on empty.

February 16, 2009 at 11:51 pm (Uncategorized)

i dont know if i should keep trying.

cos i’m running on empty, and you’re making no effort to fill it up.

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world class.

February 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm (Uncategorized)

year after year we read about graduates who make the grade but don’t meet the expectations of the real world.

year after year, we get the same backlash from lecturers, telling us to pull our socks up and become “world-class” graduates.

year after year, we get the bad name, we get the blame.

oh how i wish they were all in the lecture hall this morning. then they’ll see the kind of ‘education’ those so-called ‘lecturers’ dish out to us students. instead of talking about the given topic, one lecturer spent an hour talking about his experiences studying abroad, emphasising the fact that he was given a scholarship by the said country he was studying in. he even made us copy effing notes on that. notes. on stupid minuscule things that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic. if we didn’t, he’d remind us what lucky bastards we were to bask in the presence of his glory because he normally gets paid half a thousand to teach outside. he was also busy making crude jokes, which, surprise surprise, had a majority of the class in stitches. and the cherry on top was showing what a chauvinistic pig he was by putting women down, mocking and mimicking them in front of the whole class. half the time, the lecturer and his fellow ‘academicians’ were laughing and giggling like little school girls. it was like watching a badly¬† rehearsed puppet show meant for pre-schoolers.

with such excellence and finesse in the teaching staff, how can we NOT churn out first class graduates who think globally and see beyond the horizon?


just two more months. and then i’m done with this dump. and i’m never sending my children here. EVER.

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October 3, 2008 at 4:49 pm (Uncategorized)

stop bringing me down.

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this face doesn’t care.

July 8, 2008 at 10:53 am (Uncategorized)

more reasons to add to my endless list of “why i hate this school”.

the teachers had a pot luck in the staffroom yesterday for one of the teachers leaving for a 1-year course. they bought food, cakes, etc. today, the whole kitchen and eating area are littered with bits and pieces of food and trash from yesterday’s do.

we have a couple of cleaners who come every morning to clean the staffroom ie sweep, mop, take out the trash. that’s all they do, really.

so today, seeing the ‘extra’ amount of work they had to do, they decided to bitch about it to me. cos i happen to be the nearest to the entrance (damn.)

“like little girls ah.” the cleaner said, pointing to the dirty kitchen and eating area.

“if my employee sees this, she will say ah, i didnt do my work.” she continues.

i just gave her a half-smile and screamed in my head, “I DONT FUCKING CARE LAH BITCH. JUST SWEEP AND SHUT THE HELL UP”

cos, 1) i have freakin’ stomach cramps. and i have to stand in front of the classroom the entire day, handling children who are born to be monkeys. so don’t come and complain that your job wreaks.

2) i have a freakin’ headache from lack of sleep. and that makes me bitchier than usual. so, no, i don’t care about your job woes.

That’s one.

And then there is this particular male worker in the office who continually makes me uncomfortable by ‘playfully’ greeting me or acknowledging me whenever he sees me. that includes smiling like a sexed up old perv when he sees me, ‘playfully’ trying to stop me from shaking my pen when i’m trying to think of what to write in my lesson plan book, making inappropriate (and disgusting) flirting gestures (yes, may i hear a collective “EWW” from the audience please.), etc.

What is Sexual Harassment?

Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that can occur at work, school uni or in social settings. Sexual harassment in the workplace is any form of unwelcome sexual attention that is, or that you find, offensive, humiliating or intimidating that occurs anywhere you carry out any task for your employment.

Sexual harassment can be written, verbal or physical. Both males and females can be the victims of sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment can include:

  • Unwelcome touching, grabbing or other physical contact
  • Comments that have sexual meanings
  • Asking for sex or sexual favours
  • Leering and staring
  • unwelcome flirting
  • Displaying rude and offensive material, e.g. calendars, cartoons
  • Sexual gestures and body movement
  • Sexual jokes and comments
  • Questions about your sex life
  • Sex based insults
  • Criminal offences such as obscene phone calls, indecent exposure and sexual assault.

i feel violated in every sense of the word. if this isn’t sexual harassment at the work place, then i don’t know what is.



damn the school.

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don’t forget to keep that smile on your face.

June 19, 2008 at 9:15 pm (Uncategorized)

have you ever had that feeling when you wake up every morning thinking that things will be better that day only to discover that things only get worse?


same shit, different day.

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students say the darnest things.

June 18, 2008 at 7:24 pm (Uncategorized)

i had a form four relief class yesterday. i took my time going to the class cos, hell, i had to sit in for two whole periods. why bother rushing for a relief class, right?

when i entered the class, i told the students the usual..”keep quiet or i’ll keep you in class even after the last bell rings.” in bm.

then a student asked me, “eh. cikgu cakap melayu macam orang melayu lah. tapi cikgu muka cina. cikgu cina kah?”

“perlu kah orang bermuka cina bercakap macam orang cina?”

“cikgu orang apa lah? melayu kah?”

“bukan lah.”

“saya tau!” her friend said,”cikgu orang iban!”

the student looked at me wide eyed and said, “tapi..kenapa telinga cikgu tidak panjang?”

i didn’t know whether to laugh or smack her on the head with my aki’s parang. but i just smiled and said,”kamu ingat semua orang dari sarawak yang bukan cina, melayu atau india ada telinga panjang kah?”

which brings me to this… this the kind of students our ministry of education is churning out each year? students who think that there are only three races in malaysia. students who have no idea that there are hundreds of other richer cultures aside from what they have in their sivik (uselesspieceofshitofasubjectbytheway) books. students who only have stereotyped knowledge about other races in malaysia.

i see a bleak future for our kids if this kind of education continues. sigh.

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the long awaited weekend.

June 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm (Uncategorized)

it’s the weekend.


i’ve only been back to school for a week and it already feels like an eternity. i asked my students whether they were happy to be back to school. many of them groaned and shrugged. well, at least i know i’m not alone.

this week is the start of my 4 months stay on this godforsaken part of the country. sigh. life sucks when you’re on foreign land.

tomorrow, lenny, mim and i will be driving down to meet the rest in ampang. we’ll be going to the p ramlee: the musical which i paid RM33 for. i hope it’s worth my money. and the car petrol.

speaking of petrol, i’m sure everyone’s still reeling about the 40% petrol hike. i’m shocked at the 40% increase. a bit too much, dontchu think? and just cutting the govt officials’ “entertainment” allowance by 10%? let’s do the math here…even a one-year-old can tell that the percentages don’t tally.

and yet they say it’s a good move because it shows that the big guns are “leading by example”.

excuse me, but my idea of leading by example would be: the shotguns ditching their merz, bmws, crvs or whatever high-end cars they have for a humble kancil or kelisa, and stop being driven around by chauffeurs when they can obviously do the driving themselves.

or even better, take the public transportation like most of the rakyats do. or try taking the sampan to commute from one place to another. that’s leading by example. not cutting down your “entertainment” allowance by 10% and hoping that the rakyats will leave it at that.

if this isn’t double standard at its best, then i don’t know what is.

my poor aki and relatives in the kampung. how are they going to survive with an increase of petrol and everything else? bejual ba pasar enda cukup kena nupik dirik mpu makai. nama gik ka nupik bala lain?

yes, the increase on petrol is inevitable. sooner or later, it has to happen. but a sudden increase of 40%? a bit much, dontchu think? increase it slowly, and work on getting rid of other expenditure that the country can go without. there are many; don’t even get me started.

oh there goes the bell. SCHOOL’S OUT! yesss.

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first entry back home.

May 30, 2008 at 8:38 pm (Uncategorized)

i realise i haven’t updated for a LONG time. my apologies.

it’s now day 7 of my holiday back home. it feels extremely good to be home, despite some minor glitches here and there. this time, i’ve been such a good girl. i’m home most of the time, and when i go out, it’s either to town to run errands for the powers that be at home (aka mum & dad), do my duties as a girlfriend and hang out with the boyfriend or to marvin’s house to see my nephew, ezra. i haven’t been hanging out with my friends a lot and i feel bad. but being home is such a luxury and i just want to enjoy every minute of it…cos in about a week’s time, i’m going to go back to hell. and i’m not happy about that.

so forgive me if i find lounging at home on the couch surfing through channels on astro more appealing than hanging out in some coffee shop somewhere in town.

i havent exactly been talking about the school where i’m currently doing my teaching practical. i’ll just sum it up in one word….CRAP. the school’s supposed to be a premier school of some sort. but the students are treated like little children (they have to queue up every time the bell rings after recess just to go back to class. walk two-by-two some more. WHATTHE. only kindy kids do that.) plus, the level of proficiency is just….atrocious. on my first day of sit in, the students asked me, “teacher, can you singing?”

to which i replied, “wah. so terrer you speaking. i no need to teaching you any more lah.”

of course, i corrected them after that. the teacher in me. pfft.

the teachers are alright. there’s particularly a number of teachers who are really nice. one even gave me a mug because i was using a plastic cup to drink my oats every morning. “plastic not good lah girl!” she said, and gave me a new mug the next time. but only some of them are nice. there are one or two nasty ones which jey and i just choose to ignore most of the time. occasionally we bitch about them in bhs swak but most of the time, we just grin and bear it all with a smile. being trainees means that we can be given any job or shit that they find troublesome and we have no right to complain about doing it for them. sabar jak lah. mentang-mentang we’re just trainees. who speak better English and prolly teach better than they do. but. yeah. sabar jak lah.

on our first day, both jey and i got whipped by the PK1. not literally lah but you get it.. we were late, and came in during office hours. “this is a school! not an office! who says schools start office hours??”

ngaiti. scary okay. it was like being scolded by my mum, jey said. yes that’s scary.

but we managed to explain to her that we just got confused by the different information given to us as to what time we should report to the school. and the kerani is such a bitch. throughout the whole debacle she merely looked at us with a smirk on her face. from then on, everytime we need something done or everytime we have a question (which we sometimes have to ask her cos she’s the freakin’ kerani who’s supposed to know everything there is to know about the school.), she’ll just answer in that i-couldn’t-care-less tone of hers “hah? apa? tak tau lah.” and most of the time, she just looks at us with a smirk on her butt of a face.


you’re a freakin’ KERANI. boh mok eksen gilak bah. pandei pun sik. dahla mala jak whining everytime masuk office. boring bahh nenga kau whine whine whine ngek ngek ngek like a baby. gahh! pisses me off like crazy.


as you can tell, i don’t quite like certain things about the school. but it’s only been 2 weeks. i’ll either find more things to hate, or discover some things to love.

Gawai’s coming and i’ll be away in my kampung to celebrate Gawai old-skool style. that means lots of barbequed meat, curry, cheap liquor, tuak, bad karaoke of iban songs, and endless repetition of whatever “hit” iban song the people are crazy about currently.

that SO beats being back in school doing my practical. ngahaha. cheers, people. have a good holiday.

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gotta love the internet.

May 4, 2008 at 2:07 am (Uncategorized)

24 hours of sitting in front of the laptop has its pros and cons.

pros: i downloaded a total of 28 episodes of different series today (Greek Season 1 Eps 1-16 – this series has a killer soundtrack. me like, me like!, Grey’s Anatomy eps 12 & 13, Gossip Girl 15 – oooh Georgieeeee, you’re such a bitch…ngarr!, American Idol eps 35 & 36, Scrubs Season 7 eps 5-10). i even downloaded two new movies.

cons: i’ve been reading the same chapter for Writing the entire day. WTH!

i feel slightly guilty.


anyway, to those of you who are looking for the tagboard, just look for the link on the side bar that says “Tagboard”. wordpress isn’t very tagboard-friendly :X but i still love wordpress. heee.

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